Do You Want to be Famous?

In a time when social media continues to rise and opportunities continue to multiply, it becomes easier to forget who started it all. By it, I mean the book idea, the business, the ministry, the relationship. We "write our visions and make [them] plain" with humble intentions to keep Christ at the center. Then, promotion soon follows. Your like buttons are flashing by the hour. Your following hit quadruple digits. And suddenly your plans no longer seem to reflect or lead others to be Divinely inspired. It then seems to be more about staying relevant and popular in fear that someone else will take your spot. What changed? 

In the song "Invisible" by Kierra Sheard she echoes this sentiment:

"A total ecllipse has just begun.
We blocked out the Son.
Can't believe this is what we've come to.
So you think that you're a star?
But the real star has some scars.
On His hands and feet where the nails went through." 

Yes, it is praiseworthy to celebrate and acknowledge ALL the advancements God brings our way; but, when our works are no longer compelled by advancing the true nature of Christ, can we still boast that He is at the center of it all? Shakespeare also concurred that "all the world is a stage", and yet we forget that we are not the stars. We are the players, the cast, the constant moving pieces masterfully orchestrated by the One who created our role to begin with. In Ephesians 2:10,  it states that " we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for GOOD works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them" (NKJ). God placed the talents and gifts into us long ago so that it would bring benefit to others - not just ourselves. And because of this, we are admonished to walk in them - not what someone else does or what gifts we admire about other people. Walking in someone else's shoes and stubbornly striving to advance our fame than the fame of Christ can deleteriously impact our destiny.

As you make plans and set goals for your life, what is the real motivation behind those choices? Will it bring death to who Christ really is or will it breathe His life into others and your realm of influence?

Ms. Rose on Boldness

Today's post is to spotlight youth who exhibit S.H.E. qualities (Stunning Heroine Evolving). Check out how Ms. Rose reflects boldness and encourages other young women to find their voice.

How do you exemplify boldness? What does it look like to you? Through our faith in Christ Jesus, "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind" (NKJV). There will be moments when fear comes to interrupt our peace; however, when we draw within ourselves and remember the power that works in us, fear no longer has a place to dwell.

When the Seasons Change...

I have yet to meet someone who has not concluded that one of the four seasons is their favorite. Think about it…many will say winter because they love to see the purity of snow that covers the ground like a blanket. Others will say spring because trees and flowers begin to bloom. Another group will exclaim summer because it allows for fun in the sun and boundless vacations. And finally, fall because of the arrangement and assortment of colors the leaves adopt. Although each earthly season offers a unique aesthetic appeal, creation’s response to seasons reflects not only the Sovereign Creator, but also the nature of man.

Yesterday, my husband brought home a beautiful arrangement of Asiatic lilies. Before I could even notice they were not yet in full bloom, he eagerly shared why he purposely chose to purchase them closed than open. The florist explained that the real gratification is not found when they have already expanded. It is rather getting them while closed – watching them grow, enduring a process until they reach their full bloom. My husband is always a fan of a spiritual truth found in everyday moments, but he bought these for me as a reminder of God’s timing and process for his children. My husband holds a front row seat to watching my journey to dream fulfillment, expansion of faith, movement of mountains and every other obstacle course one faces in daring to dream big and daring enough to believe it can happen. As much as I am stirred daily to answer the call and assignments God has for my life, I often find myself wanting to rush and move onto the next which does not allow time to “smell the lilies.” More than that, I am reminded that I must stay in tune to discerning the time and season to better grapple the circumstances I am faced with. We can smell the air and discern rain is coming; we can see a grey or monochrome sky and feel the snow shortly approaching. But as Jesus warns, “You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the signs of the times” (Matthew16:3 NKJ). Much of how we see our circumstances and our God is correlated directly to how we make decisions and how we understand what is happening. A limited view of God will say, “Why is this happening TO me” while a mature view will boast, “This is happening FOR me.” One thing that all of God’s creation have in common is that whether we agree with God or not, process happens to all and for all. In Amos 3:3 it states, “How can two walk together unless they agree?” (NKJ) Can we say we are walking with God when we are not in agreement with His time and season for our life? I encourage you to seek God on any area where you are still stubborn or hard of heart on something you know He has asked or nudged you to do, but for your own reason you have yet to reconcile this.

As you make the next step in your life or prepare to make any change, ask the Lord to show you the season you are in: reaping, sowing, planting, studying, building, harvesting, launching, or grieving to name a few. The names exclusive to what God reveals to you in your quiet time and prayer. Look to connect the dots of what is happening around you. What are you asked to do? Are people coming to you for the same thing? What doors are consistently opening on your behalf that continue to line up with what has been revealed to you? These are just a few things to consider when aligning yourself with the time and season. 

What Do You See?

It is no wonder that we are reminded to "guard [our] hearts above all else because out of it flows the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23). When unchecked thoughts are not properly filtered, they seep their way into our hearts where what we feel becomes our view of reality. Much neurological research furthers this notion that not one person experiences the same reality as another. There are several facts or happenings that take place (objective), and our response in the brain (subjective) dictates how we perceive those same happenings. For instance, two people can witness the very same accident, but walk away with two different emotional reactions or beliefs about what truly took place in that moment. There are even times when we can speak a promise or a truth from God in conversation but still not believe or experience the veracity of it.

One biblical story that has recently entertained me (due to my actions matching the men in the story) yet simultaneously awakened me is the two disciples in conversation on the Road to Emmaus. Here we have two men who are reasoning and conversing about the death of Jesus and repeated all the happenings that took place on that day (Luke 24:13-27). In the midst of their debate, Jesus meets them on the road but they were unable to recognize Him. The two disciples are literally reiterating the very details the Prophets foretold about Jesus being "mighty in deed and word before God" and how he would be "condemned to death" and that the women who went to the tomb did not find him there. They further mentioned that they were "hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel." These events have just taken place, yet their "eyes were constrained, so they did not know Him." Christ's ascension was to take place on the third day and here, the third day is not yet gone and their hope is waning. How often do we say scriptures in our daily conversations or remind ourselves things that God has spoken to us, but when He places those very desires at our feet or has delivered on what He promised, we don't recognize it or even Him in the midst. The reality here is that Jesus had risen. Their doubts however overshadowed this reality even while speaking the truth, thus blocking their ability to recognize the reality of God's manifested plan. What I love about this story is that Jesus continues to walk with them, as they asked for Him to abide with them. As a result, he sat with them and "took the break, blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them." It is then the disciples eyes opened by being reminded of the death of Christ through abiding in Christ.

Let us continue to hope in the truth and manifestations of God's word and revealed nature. Though our circumstances can cause unfavorable thinking, we have a responsibility to "hold every thought captive that rises itself against the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:5) and mix God's word with faith so that it produces the intended result: rest in His plans.

What doubts do you have that are consuming you to the point of waning faith? What word do you need to take hold of again that you are losing hope in? As the disciples did, ask Jesus to abide with you, and see how He chooses to open your eyes.

Got Joy?

"Joy is not in things. It is in us." ~Richard Wagner

A few months ago, a dear friend of mine challenged me, in addition to her blog audience, to focus on one of the "fruits of the Spirit" mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23 that was chosen at random for an entire month. I'm still unsure if she knew the one she gave to me or not, but it was a mystery until day 1 of the challenge to me as the recipient. In situations like this, I try to predict based on my view of my circumstances which topic or focus will be given since I sporadically think I know about myself just as much as God does...absolutely prideful of me. I thought since I was newly married (and technically still am four months in) that the fruit of choice would be love. Much to my surprise but definitely orchestrated by my Father, joy was chosen for me. Right before this challenge began, my husband and I began to face some challenges and issues, and trials that we knew would come in marriage but not as early as they emerged. Emotions were fluctuating, faith was tested, and godly truths seemed impalpable. Much of what we mastered as single people became purified and sifted further as married people. Although I understood joy as a single woman, I now became tested to choose that same joy, same fruit as a married woman.

Many believe that the goal in life is to be happy. She feels good. She feels euphoric. She becomes, however, evanescent. The thing about happiness - like all emotions - is that they fluctuate and are dependent on the circumstance, mood, or situation. We are not sad everyday. We are not angry everyday. We are not disappointed everyday. Happiness is something that brings pleasure but typically is found as a result of an object, experience, person, or item. Joy supersedes happiness because it is a great pleasure that is established and firmly rooted within, watered by heavenly truth, and revealed by the unveiling of Jesus' presence in us. It takes little effort to go binge shopping when you feel depressed or eat some high calorie or sugary food or even indulge in some other avoidance behavior, causing minimal pleasure that does not even touch the root of your ailment. During the challenge, I noticed that the more I set my mind to read biblical truth about the importance of worship and prayer and strategically speaking those things aloud as opposed to fixating on what wasn't going right, or what I wanted to change, a sweet and calm presence illuminated such light, clarity, and peace despite the external chaos and turbulence I was facing.When I do a comparison of moments in my life where I plugged in "empty fillers" through food, people, outings and the like, they only ameliorated the surface of my issue. I still found myself spinning in circles over some of the same anguish. Whereas now, when I plug in what feels at times unnatural because it is still adopting a renewed way to live, I feel a deeper sense of healing, peace, and clarity on the circumstances that is indescribable.  In John 17:8-18, Jesus gives us His prayer for His disciples: those who forsake living opposed to how God designed them to live. What I love is the clarity of what joy actually is. It is something "fulfilled in [ourselves]. Notice it is not an outward focus on someone or something that can come and go at any moment. It is a constant presence; an internal knowing; an established anchor of assurance that our lives, our problems, our desires are all placed in the care of our Creator. Joy propels me to display pure light despite dark times. Joy causes me to smile though I feel agony. Joy allows me to trust despite not knowing what my future fully holds.

I am grateful to God for putting me on my friend's mind to bring this challenge to my attention. I learned that no one can take anything that belongs to you unless you give them permission. And I no longer give the devil or any other antagonistic force to take what belongs within me: joy.

Consider this week your "empty fillers" and how you can boldly utilize God's truth to stand in joy despite what happens around you.

What Time is It?

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak and not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." (NKJV)

As an AP Language and Composition instructor, I cover rhetoric and the dozens of strategies speakers use to employ effective persuasion skills. One concept we begin with is the usage of kairos - a Greek term for "the opportune or supreme moment." When delivering a speech or conducting any sort of conversation, we must always be mindful of the right time to share. For one to fully receive another party's words, someone can have all the ethos, logos, and pathos utilized to draw someone in, but if the right conversation is presented at the wrong time, it falls on deaf ears. The infamous, "I Have a Dream Speech" and its efficacy is based largely on King's usage of kairos: delivering on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in D.C., during the centennial celebration of the Emancipation Proclamation. This poignant imagery creates the perfect backdrop for his audience's reception and for King's declaration and call to freedom and sanctity of justice delineated within the speech. But what about timing as it relates to a situation? A move? A desire? An outcome? This is when we must recognize that God's kairos is not always our kairos.

When God reveals to Abram (later Abraham)  that he would have an heir that "will come from [his] own body] (Genesis 15), and specifically that Sarah would bear to him a son, Abraham did not initially believe this would happen since they were both past "childbearing years." As much as God revealed piece by piece the vision He had for Abraham, it was still difficult to believe what God promised because the timing did not seem to align with their circumstances. In Genesis 17 and 18, God tells Abraham the most important factor about any promise or vision God implants in our hearts: timing. The LORD said three times, "I will return to you at the time of life" and "Sarah will have a son." As much as Abraham was "counted for righteousness" due to his belief, he missed the authority of God's "time of life."

In this passage, the word "appointed" means fixed. God already had a fixed moment in His orchestration upon which the son would come. Because God interconnects people, destiny, purpose, situations, and the like, He knows when the ultimate supreme moment should be for every moment in our lives. The time of life mentioned here reminds me of spring, such as new beginnings and new life, new purposes. Although Sarah and Abraham and pretty much every person under the sun flows in the rhythm of chronos or the 24 hour a day concept of time, God's timing supersedes and regulates that. I find that even in the mundane days of wake up, brush your teeth, go to work, cook dinner or whatever your routine may be, God uses those moments or disciplines to reveal the purpose of planting or sowing, or waiting as it relates to fully receiving and inheriting the fullness of a vision.

Whatever you are desiring for God to bring about in your life, pray first that the motive and intent of that desire is from Him. Then ask God to reveal to you His timing on the fruition of that vision. Remember, God gave Abraham bits and pieces, and not the full vision all at once. Therefore, timing for each piece is key.

 "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV)

Perspective: What You Choose to See

What is the defining trait of a trailblazer? Is it someone who is innovative and creative? One who is consistent and balanced? Although the aforementioned characteristics are helpful and even indicative of any groundbreaking successor, perspective indefinitely trumps them all. One's perspective on any given circumstance determines his or her reactions, responses, and even recognition. For example, let's say that I was given a promotion to move from one part of the country to another. This new location drips with colorful landscapes, diverse restaurants, and compelling sights. But once I arrive, it does not appear to deliver on all that I was told regarding living arrangements or even the community of inhabitants. The job requires a bit more than I thought because I grew accustomed to my daily routine; my co-workers are not as talkative as my former comrades; and my salary is the same but allows more room for advancement.

Now one could survey this situation and believe the given promotion seems more like descension than ascension. This person would more than likely not capitalize on the given opportunities provided and make lateral moves or move back home altogether. However, the trailblazer approach is to see all problems and opposition as an opportunity to solve a problem, or grow in character, or gain divine partnerships perhaps. As much as we believe our issues or innate struggles are respective to current or more recent generations, feel free to look back at the Israelites in Numbers 14 as they refused to enter into Canaan - their Promised Land, their promotion.

Prior to moving, word came back that the land was "flowing with milk and honey" and contained much "fruit." However, when they heard that the people were "strong" and contained cities that are "fortified," the Israelites grew intimidated and grumbled to return back to Egypt - their Bondage Land. Despite being told by God that they would inhabit the land and that it was given to them, the Israelites could not see past their own fears of people they did not even personally encounter at that point. They chose to focus on their fears, their doubts, their insecurities, and placed little to none - actually none on God and what He told them. Unfortunately due to this poor, unprofitable perspective, they did not inhabit the land. Only two crossed over and inhabited the land: Joshua and Caleb. They too saw the same situation but chose a different perspective. They chose to remember what God said, and place their belief in the power and faithfulness of God and not in their own might.

Even if you are not facing a new job or new location, what situations are you encountering where you are literally talking yourself out of why you cannot or will not move forward? Are you placing more weight on yourself and not casting your cares to God? What opportunity is disguising itself in your current opposition? Ask the Lord to give you fresh eyes to view your situation from.

What's in Your Seat?

Psalm 139:23-24
"Search me, oh God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Vulnerability - something humanity has historically avoided at all costs. Typically when discussing relationships and we are asked, “why don’t you just tell him how you feel,” or “why don’t you like crying,” many people at various stages of life will reply with, “I don’t want (fill in name) to see me all vulnerable.” Is it no wonder that when we examine the denotation of this word that we can’t help to connotatively repudiate all contact with any and all situations, circumstances, and conversations that will force us to be VULNERABLE? The root, vulnerare, means “to wound, hurt, injure, maim.” Surely, we understand why our fleshly, natural inclination upon hearing this word and its associations cause us to repel against anything that will cut us or bring harm.

Growing up I lived in a household where it seemed the family mantra or mission statement was “What goes on in this house, stays in this house.” Yes, some things should be kept within the confines of the intimacy of family and safety. But in my house, it seemed EVERYTHING was to stay in the household - particularly situations that called for emotional help, understanding, depressing thoughts, arguments, and conflict resolution. This had no choice but to develop defense mechanisms, walls, apathy, and overall reliance on working through issues independently.

I ultimately reached a place in my life where although I had loving and decent relationships, I rarely allowed people to get really close to me. I was afraid to let anyone in because I feared them getting to know me and how my upbringing made me feel weird. I grew accustomed to entertaining people for the sake of looking at them to fill whatever connection I desired at the moment: humor, intellectual interludes, adventurous experiences, song lyrics, or simply ego filling. It was not until I reached adulthood (rather mid 20’s) where God imprinted on my heart that I was running and avoiding. I no longer could ignore this heavy nudge that the more I sought out intimacy from a need for deep connection and affection, the more I was deviating from what true intimacy stems from: vulnerability.

Apprehending vulnerability from the lens of man - natural state, appearances, surface level - will never lead to authentic transparency. We’re reminded in 1 Samuel 16:9 that “God does not see as man sees. For man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Though this reference is where God reminds Samuel of how we look at people on the outside - their hair, stature, clothing, title, and the like - God is not concerned with make-up. He is always after our hearts; therefore, God’s lens of seeing us is through an eye of LOVE.

God was telling me through this conflicted emotion that I will never understand the fulfillment of any kind of intimacy unless I allow myself to be vulnerable through His loving eyes. Let’s look at the scripture.

To “search” means to “dig deep.” Now if someone who is out to harm you, or reveal your insecurities from an unloving place, then yes, this causes a wound or harm. Someone who is absent of love will expose you openly because they don’t have righteous motivation or intention. But everything about God is love. Our view of God determines how we feel when He looks at us. Frankly, this is true for anyone. God looks at us with a confident love. He made us with such love, adoration, purpose, and wonder despite already knowing our frailty, shortcomings and future sin. So His cutting into man allows our deep layers to come to light. Layers of depression, molestation, promiscuity, dishonesty, masturbation, relationship idols and so on - all of these things crowd and permeate our heart: the center  or "seat" of our being. Our hearts or our soul combine our mind, will, and emotions. Many have referred to the heart as the seat. Things sit, and dwell there. Our thoughts are the workshop in which we ponder ideas, and once they grow, they flow and enter to the heart - whether good or bad, beneficial or harmful, life or death. So David is basically asking God to search him because He trusts in WHO God is to search him out and know his heart. He wants God to discern and investigate all of what is in his heart.

He then asks God to “try [him]” and now investigate his thoughts. Now at one point, I would be like man do I really want to confess and let God in on the thoughts that really go through my mind in a day? But the irony here is that God already knows our thoughts, but our humility and submission says, “God you already know, but my ability to confess and acknowledge what you want me to see about these thoughts is what you’re after. You want to shed your light of love to pull me and restore me to a way of everlasting, life, liberty, joy.”

Now ask yourself: What’s in your seat? What multitude of harboring thoughts have now reached and flooded your heart that may need to be cut out? What resides in your heart that is keeping you from being VULNERABLE to God?

What I Can't Live Without

"Like a song, carooning my soul like strings on a harp
entertaining all the hidden parts of me;
Oh love maybe you have found me, although I have hidden from you at times
you have been patient and bidden your time till
I was ready to see your truth and beauty
Never far away..." Andrea Joy Cohen, M.D.

What is something you cannot live without? Shelter? Food? Cell phone? Wi-fi? Or television? Your journal maybe? Clothing to keep you warm perhaps? Your favorite book? Feminist activist and famous poet Edna St. Millay portrayed in Sonnet 30 her thoughts on what love is and what it's not. In her final lines of this sonnet, she recognizes the pain and distress and even harsh memory that love can leave behind - essentially WHAT it leaves in its absence. She discovers that although tough times may "drive" or tempt her to "sell love for peace" or "trade the memory for food," she chooses not to. For many of us, we would probably trade with no question, especially when it produced pain.  But her final and lasting thought is what reveals not just what's most important but what is paradoxically needed most: love.

This is not to ignore that basic needs such as food, shelter, and clothing are necessities for one's ability to survive in a more comfortable and enjoyable manner. But what if we go a step further and arrive at the heart of the matter? What if we really observe what keeps people fighting for life, what keeps people serving others, what keeps people yearning to see another day? Could it be that deep down, they look and desperately hope for someone to offer them love? To see the greatness within them that they have somehow lost sight of? To see beyond their mistakes and flaws and appearance? Many survivors of life threatening diseases and debilitations have been found to overcome and gain healing of those diseases through a significant amount and recognition of love from other people and love for themselves. This does not obliterate usage of medicine or therapy to heal sick people; but it does propigate the notion that love is something we were created to need for true survival, for a true and meaningful life.

As we experience the world and grow in the world, it is no surprise that we can easily become hardened to love and even impenetrable. We can walk around with opaque hearts to others and hide from the true essence of what love brings: intimacy, healing, transparency - all forms of light. Light to see, and light to reflect. This may be why 1 Corinthians 13:13 states that "the greatest of these is love." Martin Luther King Jr. even testifies that "love is the most durable power." Our ability to love without borders is what allows God's miracles to truly manifest themselves through our imitation of Christ and duplication in relationships.

How do you know if you are demonstrating love? Well, it is when you demonstrate patience, kindness, gentleness, self control, humility, selflessness, hope, faith, peace, honor, truth, and grace towards all people. And in case it needs to be said, demonstrating these above attributes EVEN when it's hard or when someone seemingly does not deserve it. Isn't that what Christ demonstrates to us every second of every minute of every hour of every day? If you know, believe, and receive that, then you too are called to demonstrate the same. But Christ must be at the core of it ALL...

Faith to Fly

"I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”  ~C. Joy Bell C.

As much as most people are afraid of heights, they are also allured by the concept of flight; the thought and imagined feeling of being suspended in air, crashing into the wind, and encapsulated by the scenery - though scary - still attracts them. I for one am still taking steps to overcome my slight fear of heights: literally and figuratively. Maybe this is how I have come to admire birds of all types and grown to love feathers in general. Whenever I see eagles, for example, I am in awe as I gaze upon the mass of their wings, the intention in their direction, and the calmness in their glide. They are simply living in complete freedom. It is no wonder even Albert Einstein encourages us to "look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better." In the Bible, the eagle is referenced for its strength (Psalms 103:5 and Isaiah 40:31), its nesting in high places (Jeremiah 49:16) and its elevated vision (Job 39:27-30). If God can create an eagle to do all these things and more for survival purposes, why do we question at times God's ability to develop the same in us? Simply put - faith and patience.
Think about the last thing you prayed or asked God to speak to you about. Was it a person to connect with? A job to take? A school to choose? Or even an opportunity to grow? In any case, if you sought God on the matter, did you find yourself so stuck that you ended up not moving or making a decision at all? At times, we either don't believe that God will answer what we're asking for or we're not willing to wait for the timing of the manifestation and the development that must occur. Currently, I am at the place in my journey of having faith that He will provide or do, but it still requires my faith which is in all cases ACTION. As the aforementioned quote states, "the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings." For us, this is our movement, our action, our choices. As much as the beauty is found in the scenery and the wind while in air, our instincts immediately focus more on the potential cuts, crashes, and catastrophes and not enough on trusting in the Omnipotent One who told you to fly and gave you everything you needed to fly in the first place - just like the eagle. Yes, we execute wisdom and seek counsel on any move we make; however, we still have to make a decision. And if we have honestly sought God in this decision, and wait eagerly for his word, then we can move forward in what He tells us even when we don't know what is ahead or above the next level of clouds.

Slow down and look at Nature; for when the fritters of life chip away at your ability to hear, She will connect you back with our Creator.

Covenant Accountability

This month, we are focusing on the importance of accountability - whether it is to take ownership of one's actions or to be responsible for helping another take ownership for their decisions. As a culture, we enjoy connecting and relating with others on the basis of interests, goals, hobbies, and the like; however, when those same friends decide to oppose our views or decisions, we tend to feel offended or sometimes judged. Now of course, we must be mindful of who we are letting speak into our lives. There are some people who might provide their perspective on matters that do not reflect your core values, which can cause disagreement. But nonetheless, if these are friends or relationships that have been established on our core values and have produced trust, then we should be able to take heed to their perspective and evaluate the source and validity of the content. A few things we should question are: Does the commentary align with God's word? Does it confirm something I have already been pondering in my prayer or quiet time with God? Will the advice help me become a better person or better for other people? In Galatians 6:1, it says, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted (NIV). As followers of Christ, we are given God's spirit which is not solely to benefit us, but to also help others - and in this case - the ability to "restore" or help mend where a fellow follower has deviated from God's truth and ways. And yes, the key way to do this is "gently", gracefully, lovingly. 

Although, many people claim they want accountability or want to hold others accountable, the essence of this scripture outlines the very nature of both parties: being open to correction and being governed by the Spirit to recognize and correct with humility. In order to mature and not remain babes, we need relationships that foster discipline, growth, and constant communion with Christ in order for us to flourish and become all (not partially) of who God created us to be. Throughout my journey over the past few years, I would not be at the level I am now to even teach or help others along their way if someone did not help me recognize areas that needed growth or areas where sin hindered me from advancing and being transformed inwardly to outwardly reflect who Christ really is. Several times, I immediately rebelled with the admonitions because they generally made me uncomfortable - mainly because the advice was stretching me. It forced me to come out from under my comfort zone and actually live out the effectual power of God's word. And isn't that what growing in general is all about? 

Now does this mean that you cannot keep the friends you currently have? For some, it may require some major releasing in order for God to bring more relationships into your life or it may require some shifting where the time or nature of those dynamics will change. Either way, an inventory should be taken within our relationships often to ensure that we are positioned to help others not fall into temptation and positioned to receive correction when we are falling into temptation. 

Guard My Mouth

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

~Langston Hughes

When we first hear or think about the word "dream," we often associate it with images or stories given to one that is in a deep sleep, or with some imaginative goal or pursuit for the "if I could do anything I want one day it would be..." type of context. Is it no wonder that as a whole, many people do not believe in the idea of dreaming because they seem either elusive or ephemeral to even grasp? As a child, you cannot imagine that when you are chasing your brother around the house, that you are NOT the quickest detective in the world; that when you are talking to your stuffed animals, you are NOT the most effective teacher in the world; or that when you're doing the latest routine dances, you are NOT the next big choreographer to lead the biggest performer yet to come. What happens as we transition from each social stage that causes the belief in these dreams to diminish and dissipate more and more to the point that we settle for status quo? For what's easiest? For what's most comfortable? It's not just pondering "what happens to a dream deferred" but also remembering to"come like children" as Jesus illustrates how to enter into the kingdom. Jesus here associates children with humility, unwavering trust, and confidence. However, as life experiences mature us, they also harden us. 

As I continue on the journey to my dream fulfillment, I cannot lie and say I haven't experienced road blocks, emotional taxation, and sporadically doubt. But, I have learned that just because my feelings about my dream changes, doesn't mean God's dream in ME changes. Dreams are like seeds delicately planted "while [we] are in the womb." When we receive and accept God's spirit in us, that seed or dream becomes awakened or germinated. Therefore, it is our responsibility to protect it, nurture it, water it and watch it come alive. One way the plant or dream becomes withered is through our words. As much as we can speak life into situations or people, we can also speak death. In the Bible, Zechariah was first told that he was to have a son in his old age through the angel Gabriel. God knew that Zechariah's disbelief or doubt would affect his speech, thereby muting him until the day his son John was born. God basically took away his ability to speak to ensure that death did not befall the dream or seed he wanted to plant into Zechariah. 

It is indeed possible to work toward your dream one day, and the next day contentiously deny that you can even do the very thing you began. As you grow tired of hearing no or seeing a lack of resources to move at the pace YOU think YOU should, you throw in the towel. Falling into this same outcry, I had to remind myself of the very question I posed to a friend just earlier this week: Who would be most impacted if I gave up on my dream? Anything God gives to us is not just to benefit us; it is to bless others. The same is true for our dreams. Yes, the journey can be tumultuous, which can cause us to speak what we feel. But, it is critical to understand that my faith moves God, not my feelings. Therefore, our belief, our faith, and our speech - once aligned - is what allows us to "say to this mountain, move." 

Resurrecting Dead Dreams

In a time where many are brokenhearted, weak, and hopeless, many (whether they are strong believers in the Lord or complete rejecters of Him) will still wail aloud to say, "Where is God in all of this?" When we are led to this point in our lives, we are actually in a place where His presence can ultimately be found. We have tried to figure out much from our own vantage point while the paradox of it is that we only see in part since we do not have the grand view of our Father who sees all things and knows all things.

Inherent Trust

     If you live long enough, you will encounter a person or a situation that will skew or completely diminish your ability to trust completely, fully, and unabashedly. We become experts at placing masks and veils over ourselves to protect and shield us from getting hurt or appearing too vulnerable. Sure, for awhile we believe we are strong; we are better; we are safe; we are wiser - only to be completely ignorant to what true freedom and serenity is all about. Something that our own logic and reasoning and justifications will rarely lead us to - gaining life and freedom is essentially to die to oneself and surrender to the One who gave you life in the first place. Well what does that mean? Scripture tells us that "our lives are hidden in Christ." Until we find Christ, accept Him, and live by faith in Him, our lives and purpose will continue to be an impalpable mystery that is available for us to see, but will not ever really quite SEE  until we are in Him. As we grow to learn about Christ's nature and how much God truly loves us and has always loved us, we begin to respond to the inherent trust that God placed in each of us but we either place it in idols that only lead to the dismantling of its original purpose OR we place God in human terms where we believe He cannot be trusted because of how humans fail us daily. "God is not a man, that He shall lie" (Numbers 23:19). What God says He is, will do. and be is true. We have to daily remind ourselves that His ways will not always look the way we believe they should, but when we look back and look at our triumphs (despite the rocky soil they were planted in), God has and is faithful. What struggle or challenge has not produced greater character within us? What obstacle have we met that has not taught us more about our capabilities? What hurtful situation has not opened a door for new opportunity, new life, or new hope? It is this ongoing principle that reveals that we can and must trust God to be God (Lord and Ruler) of our lives so that we can fully surrender to the unique life He has for each one of us.
   In a short story by Christine Hibbard, she delineates the day she "died" and the life she gained. She went on a river-rafting trip with friends and her boat was suddenly hit by a wave of white water. As she was quickly thrown off the boat, the waves were thundering and hovering over her and she states that she was reminded to "surrender to the flow of the river if tossed overboard." She then states:

     "At that moment, I realized I was going to die. A small voice inside of me said it would be okay to die and become a part of this river rather than apart from it and the process. And that's when I experienced true surrender - the last thing I remember feeling was the great peace of not having to struggle anymore."

     First, let me say how this is another example of God's mercy, faithfulness, and voice to his children. God is forever pursuing us to see His great truths and love in our everyday circumstances - big and small. Though it appeared to be a moment about physical life and death, it galvanized her inner resolve to face life in the very same manner (once she was rescued of course back to the boat:). She learned to "die" to fear, uncertainty, and rebellion and responded to the inherent trust in God's plan and will for her life and that "everything really will be okay." Through constant prayer and relationship with God, she progressively learned to surrender her trust in Him and that our futures are secure in Him when we follow after Him.

     "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and the gospel will save it." Mark 8:35

Highway Thinking

     Driving down 495 today, I zone out to Mali Music’s song, “Higher.” Shifting from lane to lane going about 75 miles an hour (don’t judge me) I realize why I enjoy driving on highways vs public streets or any road with lights. I enjoy the continuous and uninterrupted flow of driving - no braking, few pauses - as if my car is gliding across the way. However, when lights are involved, I’m forced to stop and start again, or slow down once my rhythm is reached and it interrupts what feels like my regularly scheduled program. Then I pondered about how I carry this same thinking and expectation into my walk and journey through life. How much road rage do I encounter every time I have to stop what I’m doing because God wants to detour my navigation to either turn here, slow, down, or just stop altogether. There are times when the melodious high of vibing to your favorite songs and feeling the kiss of the wind come to a halt, and you must embrace the traffic jams of life that call for your patience, your reflections, your focus. There are times when all you can do is wait and be patient for the traffic to move. Or when you come to a light - a word of truth, revelation, direction, or His presence - stop and listen to what He’s trying to show you in the wait. I thank my God that He doesn’t keep me on a beltway mode of thinking and that He brings me to places of rest and reflection. I pray to have eyes that continually see and ears to always hear, and a heart that is forever thankful. Teach me more how to rest in you…

I Am Who He Says I Am

     A few years ago, I read such a mind and heart transforming book: The 5 Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. Essentially, he discussed that we all have a primary love language and that if that language is not met or not spoken, then our “love tank” is thus empty. Simultaneously, this also defies the aphorism that we should treat people how we want to be treated. According to this book, this is why those we love do not always feel our intended love because we treat them based upon how WE want to be treated and loved. For example, I learned that my primary love language is Words of Affirmation; this means that I feel loved when I am verbally poured into, affirmed, and edified (this is not at all surprising since I am such a word whore:) Needless to say, when I call myself loving someone by speaking life into them and trying to build their self-esteem, it does not mean that person will respond or receive that love if their primary language is different, say like Physical Touch. If I’m trying to love on them with words and they’re trying to love on me with hugs and kisses, then there’s a language barrier. If only the world would actually apply this thinking which is based upon a humble and sacrificial mentality: have a daily intent to serve and love others based upon how the other feels loved and in turn if others are doing the same, everyone’s love tank would remain full. Where am I going with this? 

Do I Show Him I Am Ready to Receive?

       A few years ago, I walked away from much familiarity and into a place unknown to me - outside my comfort zone. From that moment began a journey initially encompassing doubt, fear, and pain but has now yielded an abundance of love, joy, peace, wholeness, and the list goes on. I had no clue how that one decision was not only a springboard that catapulted me even deeper into God’s word, but landed me right smack in my purpose for living. Although it was the most challenging time of my life thus far, it has ironically produced the most rewarding and exciting time thus far. As I reflect on my “daily dose,” found in Psalms 84:11 which reads: “For the Lord God is a sun and shield, The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly,” I completely see without blinders why certain things I thought I was ready for did not come. I had to delve deeper into this scripture that reveals who God longs to be which is “a sun and shield.” When I break down this meaning of “sun” and shield,” this means God longs to be a radiant light, an object of worship in addition to being a barrier and protection to me. When I choose to not dwell and live a life in Him, I cannot reflect His light, let alone even see it. Additionally, we tend to also forget that His grace is sufficient for our every weakness so when I struggle, his grace and glory longs to clothe me if I am willing to wear it. Lastly (and here’s where the light bulb really came on), when something is truly I mean genuinely good for me, He will not withhold it as long as I walk UPRIGHTLY. When I first read this scripture, I assumed it dealt solely and completely with being just and displaying rectitude. However, the Hebrew usage of this word in this passage translates as “what is complete or entirely in accord with truth; whole, entire, sound.” When we are broken or incomplete in Christ, He cannot entirely release all that we ask for even when it is good for us because we are not in the right place or position to receive it. If God gave you such a financial increase, yet you are not displaying consistent stewardship over the money you have now, how can He release more into your hands? How can he give you the new career you long for if you are not completing what He asks of you in the position you are in now? How can He release the person you desire to you if you are not whole or complete in a way that is sound and in accord with His truth? For me, this spoke rivers. I understand how in essence, God protected me from myself by withholding some of my deepest desires because I would not do them justice to the capacity I know I want to and what He wants me to as well. So we must reflect on what we are asking God to give and whether we are ready to receive.

Who I Am from His Vantage Point

       How many years did I spend walking around and making decisions in darkness? There were times when ignorance was indeed bliss, aimless walking felt liberating, and blowing where the wind blew seemed invigorating. However, I got to a point where those steps in darkness created endless circles and I wondered how did I end up there, here, and over there. 

       As women, we long to be captivated, wooed, and adored - it’s how we, for those who are willing to admit it, are deeply wired. Part of Eve’s role was to be Adam’s “helpmate” and “a crown to her husband.” Therefore, if there is a desire to “help” or serve, there is a longing that we wish and desire to fulfill. You might ask, “Well how is that connected to wanting to be captivated and adored?” Well, captivated in essence means to attract and hold the attention of, by beauty or by excellence. So whether it’s providing beauty from outside or within, whether it’s committing acts of service and deeds, whether it’s providing affection and love - it all stems from that longing to fulfill someone’s desire. Typically, we are driven to serve or provide this beauty or excellence to men. As many psychologists have stated, one’s initial connection (or lack thereof) with the opposite sex creates our comfort level, association, and viewpoint with how we later interact with the opposite sex - particularly romantically. As I stated in the first post, I have often observed (as our society does too) how fatherless daughters are “in search for love in all the wrong places” or “never knew love because [their] father wasn’t around, or ”[they] didn’t understand how a man should treat [them] so [they] just accepted (fill in the blank).“ I grew up with the best man I have ever known on this earth: my father. There are no words to describe his presence that still permeates my life as I carry [him] in my heart (I love E.E Cummings by the way). So, most would assume that having a great father couldn’t possibly have any heartbreaking effects, let alone a distanced father/daughter relationship - the other mark on the spectrum…what a major misconception.

       Although I have a mother, who I have a greater respect and love for today than I did growing up, I pretty much was my daddy’s shadow growing up. When I was scared at night, I crawled on his side of the bed, not my mother’s. When he left to run errands, I went with him. I would not fall asleep without lying on his chest as a little girl to hear his heart beat. As I became an adult, he became my biggest cheerleader. With all that said, it’s safe to say this is all I knew and subconsciously assumed this same adoration, this same faithfulness, this same support is what I could expect from men. No, these are not wrong desires to have from a mate, however, when these expectations are not met exactly the way we like, our happiness and joy is thwarted - hence the unfair aspect. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had wonderful and meaningful relationships with upstanding, decent men; however, none of them had a standing chance because of my expectations and perception of love.

     Now that my father is no longer here on earth, I had to figure out how to navigate through life without my only sense of a father. I naturally felt fatherless, directionless, and (dare I say) pointless. Who and what am I without my father and his love for me? Who was I to make smile the way my father smiled at me? Who was I going to make proud of with every new goal I reached? These on top of endless other questions consumed my being for the longest. But, I surrendered everything I ever knew to God and let him piece my life, my love, my being back together. So how do the daddy’s girl’s, abandoned girls, and distanced girls all share a sense of "Daddy Woes?” We all must lay an eternal foundation of knowing WHO we are and WHOSE we truly are first.

Children of the Most High

Psalm 82:5-6

“They do not know, nor do they understand;

They walk about in darkness;

All the foundations of the earth are unstable.

I said, ‘You are gods, And all of you are [daughters] of the most High.’”